There is no doubt in my mind that being a stay-at-home mom is probably one of the hardest jobs out there.
But that is no longer the case for many moms all over the world. In today’s society, women work, too. Women are career persons also. And in unfortunate circumstances, they are the sole breadwinner in the family.
Working full-time and raising children and having a husband who works full-time also (worse, when husband is a goner), it is totally tough.
That is like trying to run a marathon without any training. You will constantly suck wind, wait for your legs to give out, but you are still trying to push forward with every ounce of your being, never refusing to give up.
Trying to balance the responsibilities of being a wife, a mother, and a full-time employee can feel downright impossible at times.
Maybe there will be times when you find that you are always coming up short and always wondering if you are good enough.
We’ve looked around and ask working moms what they are struggling with on a daily basis as working mothers. Here’s what we found.
1. The daily daycare hustle.
“Nothing feels worse as a parent than having to rip your babies out of bed before they are ready. Then, having to rush them through breakfast, if there is even time to sit and have breakfast (on bad days, my kids eat mini-muffins in the car on the way to daycare), before wrangling them into clothes, coats, boots, and a strapping them into car seats,” narrates Louisa (names changed), a mother of two and a full-time working mother.
If you have kids, of course, they come first. When you wake up, the first thing you need to is to make sure their business for they day is taken cared of.
Then of course, you need to get ready for work, too. You are lucky if you have enough time to get breakfast or coffee in between getting them prepped up and settled at school and you going to work.
2. Some me-time, a.k.a. vacation.
You probably fantasize about the dream vacation, all the time. You do? Because most of these full-time working mothers do.
Norma (names altered) confessed on Reddit, “I fantasize about how I will use this time [vacation leave], but the reality is, I have two kids in daycare. If one isn’t sick, the other one is, and once one is better, the other one has caught whatever the other one had.”
Unfortunately for most mothers, a vacation is most of the time, impossible.
Norma went on and narrated her fantasies:
“I dream about how nice it would be to take a trip to some tropical island and drink “dirty banana” smoothies (the alcohol variety) with my husband on the beach, while watching our children frolic in the sand, catching waves, and collecting seashells in a bucket.
I dream about how nice it would be to take a day off to do something for just me. I’d loved to actually Netflix and chill for hours on end without someone asking me for a string cheese, applesauce, or to wipe their bum.
And I dream about how nice it would be not to stress about how many days I have left when I am the one to get sick and need to rest.”
3. The dilemma that is dinnertime during the week.
Coming home from work at 7PM (yes, thanks to traffic) with your kids telling your they are hungry is probably the most stressful part of being a full-time working mother.
At this hour, you know you have an hour and fifteen minutes before the first one needs to go to sleep. School tomorrow, hello! Kids should tuck in early. You gotta prepare that dinner fast!
Marissa (names changed) narrates her dinnertime dilemma:
“I try to make a variety of things for them to eat, but the reality is that they rarely eat those things. The last thing I want to do after not seeing my children all day is fight with them about how many bites they need to take of a dish they clearly hate.
I’ve literally watched my 3-year-old chew the same piece of chicken for 20 minutes and not be able to swallow it. I’m not a great cook, but I swear it can be swallowed, and sometimes, on rare occasions, even enjoyed.
During the week, I try to minimize the torture and make meals that I know they will eat. This limits the options to these things: Pizza, mac ‘n cheese, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, cheese quesadillas, and on really rushed evenings, cereal. Yep, I serve cereal for dinner. I’m not proud of it, but it is tasty and my children are happy and go to sleep with fully bellies. I consider that a parenting win. You should too.”
4. The guilt of still wanting time for myself.
Of course, you are a Wonder Woman. You have been dedicating your life to the family, to your kids and sometimes, you just want to have time for yourself. You think it would be too unfair not to have time for just yourself.
But then again, you’d feel guilty for even thinking about that.
But you envy stay-at-home parents. They get to chill. They get to have some me-time, one way or another.
But you, you are tired and cranky from being on the go all day. You literally can’t wait to pick your kids up from daycare every day, by bedtime, you are tired. You’d want them to go to sleep so you can sit in silence with a glass of wine and watch the new episode of your favorite TV series.
Another mother Redditor says,
“As I rush my children through dinner, bath time, bedtime stories, and leave them snuggled in their beds with their favorite blankets and stuffed animals, I feel two things: love so fierce that my heart could literally burst, and guilt. The guilt comes from wanting them to go to sleep, even though I’ve barely seen them, so that I can be alone for just a few minutes.
I envy stay-at-home parents for all of these reasons. I’m not saying they have it made by any means, but truly, I just want a little more time: for them, for me, for all of us.”
Here are some additional list of working-mums-struggles we got from the internet.
- When your child is too sick for school and you and your spouse must argue over who can afford to miss work that day.
- When drama class starts at 4 p.m. and you don’t get out of the office until 6.
- When your daycare provider asks you to pick up your sick kid and it takes you an hour to get there and your doctor refuses to fax a Tylenol authorization to offer your child relief while he waits for you because “the child needs to be home.”
- When your child isn’t invited to playdates because her stay-at-home parent is her dad, not her mom.
- When “Daddy and Baby” events are scheduled for non-work hours but “Mommy and Baby” events are smack dab in the middle of your work day.
- When your washing machine breaks and you can never be home long enough to wait for the repair person.
- When your daycare center is closed for a staff development day and all the babysitters you know have been booked by other parents.
- When your toddler seems to prefer her babysitter to you.
- When kindergarten orientation starts two hours after you’re supposed to leave for work.
- When no summer sports camp ends later than 3 p.m.
- When your child begs you to come eat lunch with him because “all the other moms do.”
- When you’ve failed to befriend anyone on the PTA and you don’t have the energy to try.
- When your Facebook newsfeed is filled with photos of stay-at-home mom gatherings, both with kids and without, that you can never make it to.
- When your child’s school has a snow day and all the kids go sledding with their parents … except yours because, hazardous conditions or not, you still had to go to work.
- When you’re a nursing mom stuck in traffic on the commute home and your nanny is texting you that the baby is hungry.
- When the mom next to you at school drop-off is stressing about getting her son’s lunch bag embroidered, and you’re struggling to remember whether you even packed your kid lunch that day.
FEEL FREE TO SHARE YOURS!
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iMom. (2013). 5 Toughest Single Mom Struggles – iMom. [online] Available at: http://www.imom.com/5-toughest-single-mom-struggles/#.WU48TxOGNn4 [Accessed 24 Jun. 2017].
HelloBeautiful. (2015). NY Times Goes Viral For Pointing Out The Obvious: The Working Mom Struggle Is Real. [online] Available at: https://hellobeautiful.com/2823839/working-mom-struggle/ [Accessed 24 Jun. 2017].
HuffPost. (2013). Winning at Your Own Mommy War: The Battle of the Working Mother. [online] Available at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-suzanne-steinbaum/winning-at-your-own-mommy-war_b_3932345.html [Accessed 24 Jun. 2017].
Forbes.com. (2017). My Struggles As A Working Mother. [online] Available at: https://www.forbes.com/2010/01/07/mika-brzezinski-book-morning-joe-forbes-woman-power-women-msnbc.html [Accessed 24 Jun. 2017].
VOA. (2013). US Working Mothers Struggle Daily to Balance Family, Career. [online] Available at: https://www.voanews.com/a/mothers-working-career-home/1658972.html [Accessed 24 Jun. 2017].
Parents. (2017). 10 Ways Moms Can Balance Work and Family. [online] Available at: http://www.parents.com/parenting/work/life-balance/moms-balance-work-family/ [Accessed 24 Jun. 2017].